The Very Worst Of Shaun Industry

How To Make A Neato-Logo And Header For Your Blog(s) And Profiles – Even If You Suck At Photoshop

May 10, 2008 · 4 Comments

I’ll admit it: I’m a nightmare at Photoshop. I have only the vaguest idea of what four buttons do and it took me a year to learn what layers are, much less use them. So, if I can figure out how to make a pretty darn good logo and header to be the banner for my personal blog, so can you!

Firstly, you’ll need a background with a large, patterned surface to make your logo and pictures on your header pop – so do a Google search for “desktop wallpaper” and select one that is simple (won’t overshadow your additions), but has a nice pattern – NOTE: if you are going to use the background for your page, do the webmaster supplying the image a favor and host it on your own server, i.e.: your own Photobucket or Snapfish account, etc. Go to the site you want to post the banner/header to and look for the height and width you need the header to fit (for example: my WordPress header is 770X140 pixels). Then, open a new image with a transparent background, like so:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Specify the pixels to be the exact height and width that you need for your header. Take the  square selection box tool and select an area from the image you have selected for your background. Don’t worry, any excess area will not show on your banner.

 

Next, proceed with vector graphics. Most vector graphics are created in Adobe Illustrator. Now, don’t worry if you don’t have Illustrator, ‘cause you don’t really need it. All you really need to do is a Google search for “free vector graphics.” Here’s a coolio little page that is used by a lot of people for their vectors – I recognize three or four of the graphics from Myspace background sites, other headers on social networking sites and popular blogs. If that fails, iStock has a large collection of vector graphics for sale as low as $3 each. Now, I know I said that you didn’t need Illustrator and I stand behind that, but to download some of these graphics in a useable format, you will need it – never fear, some of the best come with a

 

 

 

 

graphic you can access in Photoshop and use the  wand tool to select the image you want and Crtl+X to cut it from the image.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next, go to the image you want and press Ctrl+V to paste the selected vector in. Then use the 

movement selection tool in Photoshop to move the image you have just pasted in to the place you would like it to appear in the new image.

 

You can also used the  text tool to create writing for your logo/header – you can select the font you wish to use on the tool bar which appears when you select the text tool and you can also bold or italicize certain text (depending on the font you select). If you need to move the text, you can do so by using the move selection tool.

You’ll probably also want to include some pictures (of you, your interests, or the bulk of the blog’s subject matter). You can do so by opening the image with Photoshop – smaller images work better, because they won’t need much resizing. You can make an image smaller by selecting the ‘Image’ button on the task bar and clicking on ‘Image Size’. This will open a  window like this:

 
 
 
 

 

 

This will allow you to change the images pixel size – the default is to have the proportions of the image constrained – this means that if you change either the height or width of the image, the other changes automatically to stay in proportion to the original image shape.  

 

 

You’ll probably want to use only part of the image; therefore you’ll need to get rid of whatever is in the background (the sky, trees, the walls of your room, etc.) To do so, you can try to use the wand tool and cut the sections out, but that may be a bit tedious as the tool might select part of the image you wish to stay visable, so the best option is to enlarge the view of the image (you can do this by selecting the box size button on the task bar in the upper right-hand corner of the screen – the blue one, not the black one and roll your mouses’ scroll-wheel up and the image will be enlarged in Photoshop – this doesn’t increase the pixel

 

 

 

 

size of the file, only the view in Photoshop so that you may better manipulate the image). Then, choose the eraser tool to erase any area you don’t want – this should erase to a transparent background. If it doesn’t erase to a transparent background, you can always use the square selection box tool to select the entire image, cut it and paste it into a new image that will erase to transparent. It might even be easier if it erases to a solid color, because then you can use the selection wand to cut the background while leaving the image you want to be visible intact. Once you are done with your erasing, you can use the wand feature to select an area that is transparent then go to ‘Select’ on the task bar and click on ‘Select Inverse’. This will select the area of the image you wish to keep visible. You can either past the image into your header/logo now, or if you have more erasing to do, you can paste it into a new window and continue. If you follow the later route, all you’ll need to do when you’re finished is use the move selection tool to ‘drag and drop’ the image into the header that you have already created, then just move it to where you would like it to appear in the image.

 

   

 

You’ll see that with every new image you have created, you’ve also created a new layer like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is how you will be able to move one line of text or image without manipulating the images underneath. So you can simply choose the layer you’d like to work with, even erase part of it, and then move to another layer without causing more work for yourself. A little trick: if you left some areas a little rough from erasing the backgrounds, you can click on ‘Layers’ in the taskbar at the top and then place your mouse on ‘Layer Style’ – from the pop-up menu there, you can add a ‘glow’ or a ‘shadow’ to the edges of the layer that will not only make the image pop, but it’ll help hide any roughness. You can also do some other neat things with ‘Layer Style’, so experiment a little!

 

 

After all that, all you need to do is go to ‘Layers’ and ‘Merge Visible’, this will merge all the layers into one image and then save the new header/logo/banner as a JPEG (most sites won’t accept a Photoshop image). From then on, if you need to resize it, you can do so by opening the image in Photoshop, clicking ‘Image’ and then selecting ‘Image Size’ and inputting the new dimensions.   

 

Congratulations! You just made your first header!

 

 

Categories: Gay
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Eat me, Steve (Blow) Jobs!

May 10, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Jake Milkshake wants me to get an iPhone and I say, “uhmmm… maybe… what’s so great about an iPhone?”

“Holy shit, dude. It’s got Wi-Fi and a touch-screen and… (here’s where he has a little e-masturbation session – no shit, he even closes his eyes for a second and looks like he just dropped some E) It’s frunk, man!”

“Really, how much are they selling them for now?”

“Oh $500, $600 bux,” he says.

“For ‘$500, $600 bux’ the iPhone better do a lot more than get Wi-Fi and have some fucking touch-screen (every fucking phone has buttons – I’m not impressed). For $600 bux, it better iSuckMyDick. In fact, that little red-headed twat that snears at every passerby at the Apple Store can suck my dick and I’ll blow a big, watery wad all over the iCrack merch for all the techboys to lick off; just tell ‘em Steve Jobs had me do it.”

You heard me! The iPhone is a gateway drug.

Categories: Humor
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Shaun Industry Interview With ‘SCENE’ Magazine.

May 10, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Here’s a transcript of the recent interview I did for SCENE magazine.

An Industrial-Sized Dose of Shaun Industry

From SCENE Underground Magazine, Written By Mike Nguyen

 

When I asked Blaine how I would know who Shaun Industry was when he met me at the coffee shop today, Blaine said, “Oh, you’ll know him. Just look for the guy that looks like Pete Wentz with green eyes.” That definitely had my interest – a cute gay writer with awesome taste in music? Sign me up!

I arrived about fifteen minutes early to Little City on Congress and sat toward the front waiting for Shaun to show. This particular coffee shop is known for its hip, trendy and often gay crowd. I was checking out the hot little barista when I spotted a handsome guy with a green cap on his way to the bar. He was wearing a lime green Trailer polo and ripped jeans. His green eyes were shining emerald, complimented by his shirt. I thought, could this be the infamous Shaun Industry? Then, he smiled. It was a smile I believed to be patented by Pete Wentz himself and I knew that this must be “the Industry.”

I waved him over and he brought his mocha, decaffeinated latte and sat down. After the introduction, Shaun went straight to business with the interview.

SI: Well, I guess it must be a slow news day for Blaine to want you to interview me. (laughs)

MN: Not at all! Blaine and some of the other guys talk about you all the time. He did warn me that you are painfully sarcastic, though.

SI: ME? NEVER!

MN: Blaine also mentioned that you look a lot like Pete Wentz.

SI: Yeah, I’ve gotten that a lot. I was in LA not too long ago and was greeted by a crowd of screaming teenage girls. At first, I thought that somehow they knew who I was, but I was confused. Then one of them screamed, “I love you, Pete” and I knew what was going on. Frankly, I wonder how many people pay attention – firstly, I have no tattoos and Pete has two sleeves. Secondly, Wentz is pretty short and I’m 6’1”.

MN: Well, there is a major resemblance in the face.

SI: It’s the teeth and the smile.

MN: There’s a rumor that you’re related to him going around locally.

SI: Is there? Well, I haven’t heard it.

MN: There’s something you aren’t telling me.

SI: No. (smiles) See, that’s the first rule of self-promotion: don’t deny any rumor, just remain silent. (laughs)

MN: There’re rules about that sort of thing?

SI: Oh yeah, I’m writing a blog about it soon. You’ll have to look for it online; you know, like take a time machine to the early nineties when Al Gore invented the Internet.

MN: Hey, buddy!

I prod him a bit for his jibe.

SI: Sorry, sorry. Next question.

MN: So, are you ready for Internet celebrity?

SI: (laughs) No, no, I have no delusions of grandeur. I mean, the Internet is a media outlet, for sure, but all I’m trying to do is get my voice heard. I’m doing a lot of work now and collaborating on a lot of projects and I just really want to reach as many people as I can. Speaking of which, when is SCENE getting a web site?

MN: We’re not getting one. There’s a big split in philosophy between some of the guys working on the magazine about whether or not we should go online, but the bulk just want to stay ‘underground.’

SI: Yeah, I know… but what about a Myspace page?

MN: Oh, Myspace is way too mainstream. They’re owned by the big ‘M’ now!

SI: McDonalds?

Shaun gives me a clever little smirk.

MN: (laughs) No, Microsoft.

SI: Oh, ‘Micro-slut’! Well, are you going to have to type this all up and telegraph it to the future?

MN: (laughs) No, I’ll type it up and send it to the editorial desk.

SI: And where’s that, 1984?

MN: Okay, back to your web presence…

SI: Okay, back to that.

MN: What do you think of some of the other weblebrities out there: Matthew Lush, Jeffery Star, Perez Hilton, Chris Crocker, etcetera?

SI: I’ve haven’t met any of them yet, so I really haven’t formed an opinion. They seem to all be doing what they want to do and I really wish them the best.

MN: Oh, come on, you can dish a little!

SI: There’s really nothing to dish. I mean, I don’t agree with the message or persona of every web-queer, but I’m not going to dish anyone in print – I’ve read my James St. James.

MN: At least, can you tell me what you think of this web-war between Matthew Lush and Jeffery Star?

SI: I heard about that. All I can really say is that the web’s a lot like alcohol: it subtracts a good decade or so off some peoples’ maturity level, plus they are both really young… I think Matthew’s heart is in the right place most of time, but his ideals aren’t really all that realistic. And, well, you can’t shove your ideals down everyone’s throat. The most you can do is encourage and inspire people to be better.

MN: So, what are you working on now?

SI: A lot! Really, I’m having a great time. I’m working on a graphic novel with an unbelievable artist named Ben Beaty, called Lucid:Ragnarok and I’m working on my novel, A Million Ways To Be Cruel and my blog, of course. I’ve also been approached about adapting a one-act play I wrote for a young-adult audience in a book format.

MN: So, I know what A Million Ways… is about, but tell me about Lucid.

SI: Most of it is pretty hush-hush at the moment, but basically it’s about an epic battle between ancient gods that are, in fact, living dreams.

MN: Sounds awesome! When’s it due out?

SI: Well, soon, hopefully. I was actually working on it with another artist who had some personal troubles and had to leave the project. But Ben is onboard now and I couldn’t be happier with the way things are going.

MN: Wow, you’re doing a lot! So what’s next for “the Industry.”

SI: Well, a friend of mine suggested that I make some T-shirts with some quotes from my writing on them.

MN: Ah, so could a clothing line be in order?

SI: It’s a possibility. I’ve always wanted an underwear line. I love underwear!

Shaun gets up at this point and shows me his underwear – a cute red boxer-brief with drawings of a cartoon turtle.

MN: You’re not too shy, I see.

SI: I KNOW! I used to be really shy. It was hard to talk to new people or even look them in the eye. That’s one of the really great things about reinventing yourself: you get to define who you’ll be and you don’t feel obligated to act any certain way. Really, it’s been a great experience for me.

At that point, we decided to end our interview. The story? Shaun Industry is a class-act… with a cute butt! I snuck a little peek as he was leaving and I’m alright with that.

Categories: press
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