Jake Milkshake wants me to get an iPhone and I say, “uhmmm… maybe… what’s so great about an iPhone?”
“Holy shit, dude. It’s got Wi-Fi and a touch-screen and… (here’s where he has a little e-masturbation session – no shit, he even closes his eyes for a second and looks like he just dropped some E) It’s frunk, man!”
“Really, how much are they selling them for now?”
“Oh $500, $600 bux,” he says.
“For ‘$500, $600 bux’ the iPhone better do a lot more than get Wi-Fi and have some fucking touch-screen (every fucking phone has buttons – I’m not impressed). For $600 bux, it better iSuckMyDick. In fact, that little red-headed twat that snears at every passerby at the Apple Store can suck my dick and I’ll blow a big, watery wad all over the iCrack merch for all the techboys to lick off; just tell ‘em Steve Jobs had me do it.”
You heard me! The iPhone is a gateway drug.
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