Poorly Chosen Usernames, Take 2

Die to live, or Diet Olive? It’s a Weight Watchers breakthrough!

And Now For a New Series: Poorly Chosen Usernames

 

Gives a whole new meaning to Poppin’ A Smurf.

“He chose… poorly” – Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

The Gay Agenda

7:45 AM – Find underwear, put on pants, stumble out of stranger’s house

 

7:48 AM – Struggle with lock on door, have stranger open

 

7:51 AM – Avoid eye contact with stranger

 

8:15 AM – Breakfast with fag hag, make fun of the way the guy you slept with last night couldn’t get it up, so you had to top

 

8:45 AM – Jog around park, check-out guy running his dog – cute butt

 

9:00 AM – Finally make it into work, spritz on extra cologne so not to smell like a brewery

 

11:00 AM – Light brunch with coworker, talk about the closet case on sixth floor

 

2:00 PM – Take a walk to sixth floor to check-out closet case’s ass

 

4:00 PM – Punch-out early to go to gym

 

6:00 PM – Finish with workout spending most of the time in the steam room, then the shower

 

7:00 PM – Return home for a light dinner of sonoma chicken salad

 

8:00 PM – Destroy cilivilization as known in Christian culture, work on plans to pervert youth, prepare planet for the anti-Christ

 

9:00 PM – Exfoliate face with $59 cream, do facial exercises for instant muscle facelift, watch The Bird Cage

 

11:00 PM – Bed